Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize