ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Randomize
