Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
