If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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