Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
