He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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