SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize