is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
