and next time when you feel me up, do it right
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
