so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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