at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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