Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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