Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
