Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
