I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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