Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
