I love black thongs
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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