I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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