Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just forgot I was standing up.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
