it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
