why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dignity is for republicans.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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