just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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