Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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