hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
that's an acceptable place to lick
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Randomize