I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
