if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
we're so committed to being not committed
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
