Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
