what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
