he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
im holly from the hills drunk
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
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He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
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He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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