It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
