thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
