More tranny stories later!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
