Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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