Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
