is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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