Who did Billy Mays play for?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
