Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
