Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
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