I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I AM VODKA MAN
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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