Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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