mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize