SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
