I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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