Tell her she can't have a vagina
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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