I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
ugly people sure do ruin things
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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