I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I've blown a few things in my day
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
