nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
