How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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