Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
