I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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