i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
