Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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