2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
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No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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