Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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