my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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