Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
