I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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