dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize