We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
There's even glitter on my cock...
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