Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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