life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
