Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
