That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
