He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
